A Cliche You Should Use

WRITING TIP

A few weeks ago Gentleman Friend and I were in San Diego. We had not visited the city's famous zoo in years so off we went. I had forgotten how huge it is. We hopped on a bus to get an overview of the exhibits.

Later, when we were on foot, we stopped to admire an animal we had never seen, a red panda.

How are you liking the visit so far? Not very interesting is it? And why is that? Because you cannot really see anything. Remember the first rule writers learn: Show don't tell. I have told you we rode a bus and I have told you we saw a red panda, even presented a sign that tells about the red panda. Sheesh! What else do you want?  Oooooh, you want to see the real deal?

Alrighty then. Take a look at this.

And take a look at this. Better?


Yes, we are still using words in our writing, but we must use those words to paint a picture for the reader. Show us the fluffy tri-colored animal relaxing in a tree, four limbs dangling on either side of the tree branch. Show us that red open-air, double-decker bus. Let us hear the gentleman across the aisle, obviously a frequent visitor who knew the name of and esoteric information about every animal and exhibit.

Why is this so hard for writers, myself included? It is because we know the information so well, see it so vividly in our mind, that we forget our reader can't read our mind. Here's a little trick. I'm not sure how good it is for your mental health, but it will work for your writing. I think of it as splitting my mind apart. I stand apart and look inside. Then I write what I see there. Okay, this is sounding weird. Time to wind it up. Just remember to ask yourself: Are the details on the paper or just in my mind?

WRITING PROMPT

I felt like a caged animal . . .  What makes you feel trapped, closed in, unable to move? What makes you want to escape? How do you make your break?

CHOCOLATE INKWELL - Does this look like it will make up for last month's trick when you got puppies instead of cookies? This recipe is from www.bakingjunkie.com and has all my favorite stuff: Marcha White muffin mix (yes, muffin mix), Eagle Brand condensed milk, buttah, pecans, and chocolate -- not necessarily in order of preference. That's what's so great about this recipe. You can have it all at once.


Turtle Fudge Chocolate Chip Cookies
5 oz unsweetened chocolate
¼ cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 packages Martha White chocolate chip muffin mix
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
¼ cup chopped pecans
48 chocolate-covered caramel candies (Werther’s or Rolo’s)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a glass bowl microwave chocolate and butter until melted. Stir together until smooth. Stir in condensed milk, then add muffin mix. Mixture will be thick. Roll into small balls and dip one side into chopped nuts. Place on parchment paper lined cookie sheet with nut side up. Bake for approximately 8 minutes, or until edges start to look crinkled. Immediately press a candy into the center of each cookie and press down slightly. Once all cookies have a candy on top, go back and press each candy further into the cookie, allowing the chocolate to melt more. Cool completely before removing from cookie sheet.

Writing your life story is fun and life affirming. Get a group and get started. Write Your Life Story in Eight Weeks Workbook, Second Edition can help. Order it at www.angelinyourinkwell.com/buy.html


All rights reserved 2012 There's An Angel In Your Inkwell®

Don't Let the Sun Set On Bad Writing

WRITING TIP


These three photos taken a few days ago near San Diego remind me of an essay I wrote last November and re-wrote in February. In my November versions, the tone was unclear and the point was unclear. The opening was too heavy, the second paragraph was too light, and the middle was a muddle. Just like this photo.

The left area of the photo is too light, the couple is too dark, and it isn't clear whether they are facing snow and mountains or ocean and clouds. Besides that, they are looking out of the picture. What's out there? Why isn't it in the picture?

In this second shot, the light parts are still too light, but we can tell it is probably ocean. However, I moved in closer so it looks as if they may have their feet in the water. He is still looking out there at something we can't see. She, meanwhile, has become an unrecognizable lump.




This next picture is both better and worse. The waves are again looking like snow to me, and just as I pressed the shutter button, she looked out of the picture again, and a tiny halo has appeared over her head. Also, they seem to have an odd number of legs. I want them to be "a couple" enjoying the sunset at the ocean. Not gonna happen. I can't move them. I can't move the ocean, the beach, or the sun. In fact, the sun has set.

Lucky for us as writers, we have control over our writing. I think my February version of my essay is considerably better since I gained better control of it.  I figured out I was writing about family and not just making some joke-y play on words that nobody but me even got. I quit expecting the reader to intuit what I intended. I came right out and said what I meant. I shortened that long, heavy opening. Added details so we know whether we're "at the ocean or in the snow." I was able to direct my reader, unlike my couple in the photo, where to look and what to see.

Have you clearly shown your reader the setting? The characters? Their relationship? Have you been clear about what you point you are trying to make?

Don't let the sun set until you have accomplished all those things.

Okay, well, honestly, sometimes it is many sunsets before we are able to accomplish all that. Keep working at it. It's worth it.

WRITING PROMPT

As the sun set . . . . It's a cliche but that's our task as writers -- to make something fresh and new from the same old truths. Give it a try. Write for ten minutes or more. Later, revise and rewrite. When you rewrite, you may find you eliminate the original phrase. Doesn't matter.

CHOCOLATE INKWELL

In case you are still trying to recover from holiday and Valentine's Day excesses, today's Chocolate Inkwell is guaranteed low-cal but with enough chocolate to bring a smile. This is from a calendar for sale at Amazon.com.

Just Chocolate Lab Puppies 2012 Wall Calendar - Amazon.com

All other photos by Carol Newman -
There's An Angel In Your Inkwell ®

This is the year to write your life story. Make it more fun with Write Your Life Story in Eight Weeks Workbook, Second Edition, available at www.angelinyourinkwell.com/buy.html.

Find more Writing Tips and Writing Prompts at www.angelinyourinkwell.com.

All rights reserved 2012 There's An Angel In Your Inkwell®

Seriously, It's Not Always Easy

Fern Lake Trail - photo by Carol Newman

WRITING TIP

When Gentleman Friend and I were in the Rocky Mountains near Estes Park, Colorado  a couple of years ago, we set out on the trail to Fern Lake. We had finished a picnic lunch beside a stream and hadn't really planned on hiking; but, we saw a sign that said Fern Lake trail. "Oh, that sounds pretty," I said. "Let's hike." The trail was narrow and disappeared into the trees and brush. Gentleman Friend motioned me to go first to set the pace. Off I went. I carried a water bottle that was half full -- or half empty, as it turned out. For protection against sun and ticks, I wore a long-sleeved shirt over a tee shirt. The day was very warm. Not a breath of air moved through the looming trees. Soon I removed the denim shirt and drank all my water.

The trail became steeper and rougher. My pace slowed. My breathing increased. "I don't think I can go any farther." We stopped in the middle of the trail. Then we heard voices. "Oh, we must be almost there." We stepped out again.

Soon a several hikers came around a bend. They wore hiking boots, floppy canvas sun hats, shorts, light tee shirts, had several water bottles attached to their back packs, and carried hiking staffs. I stared. Good grief! They were prepared for a serious hike.

"Are we almost there?" I asked between panting breaths. "Oh, maybe half way. It's still pretty far. It's worth the hike.The falls are great." And then they were gone, talking and laughing as they disappeared down the trail.

I bent over, hands on my knees. "I don't think I can make it all the way." Gentleman Friend looked fine, but, because he is a gentleman as well as a friend, he willingly reversed direction. By the time we got back to the car, my hatless head felt fried , any cooling persperation had dried, and I felt light headed. I had some water from the extra bottles in the car and soon felt fine, but I realized how foolish it was not to respect nature and to set off without being prepared.

This memory flooded back recently when a woman interested in writing for publication told me about a writers group she had joined. "They are so serious," she said. "They go over the manuscripts line by line. They rewrite and move stuff around."  Annoyed at her lack of respect for writing as an art, a profession, and a business, I wanted to say, "Duh." Probably the same thing the prepared hikers felt like saying to me.

I'm looking forward to giving it another try this summer. At http://www.travelblog.org/ I learned that the Fern Lake trail is a "moderately difficult" trail, 7.7 mile round trip, and the elevation of the lake is 9530 feet. The first part of the trail closely follows the Big Thompson River but there are other wonderful sights along the way. This time I'll be prepared because, while I still plan to have fun, I'll take it seriously.

Like hiking, writing for publication must be approached with respect and preparation. It's the only way to make it all the way to the Fern Lake of writing -- publication.

LAUNCHING PAD

Fern. What image does the word fern bring to mind? Have you grown ferns, are you old enough to remember "fern bars?" My across-the-pasture friend, Shirley, before she moved far far away to Alabama, had a beautiful fern she put outdoors in the summer. It stood on a pedastal in a corner of tall white lattice at the entrance to her beautiful garden. Also, although I have never seen ferns in a funeral home, I  think of them in that context. What is your experience, image, or memory of ferns?

Here's how to use the Launching Pad: write uninterrupted for at least ten minutes without worrying about punctuation, spelling, or grammar. Later, return to what you have written and edit, expand, and rewrite as many times as necessary to produce a polished piece.

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CHOCOLATE INKWELL

To our life story writers group book party in December, Sue brought a jar of homemade hot fudge sauce. What a perfect hostess gift! The following is not Sue's recipe; hers is so utterly fantastacilly delicious, she should be allowed to keep her recipe a secret forever so I did not ask for her recipe. However, I did find the following recipe at http://www.cooks.com/. I seriously doubt this is as good as Sue's. In the Readers' Comments, one person said she added a bit of salt and one square of dark chocolate so you might experiment with improving it.. I thought about substituting sweetened condensed milk for the evaporated milk. Trader Joe's has an organic sweetened condensed milk. Look for it in a plastic bottle with the packaged milk.


EASY HOT FUDGE SAUCE

1 6 oz pkg semi-sweet chocolate chips (1 cup)
1/2 cup Pet evaporated milk

Melt chocolate pieces with milk in a heavy bottomed saucepan, stirring over low heat until chocolate melts.

Serve sauce warm over ice cream, cake or pudding. Store unused portion in refrigerator; may be reheated in microwave. Makes 1 cup.

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A friend of a friend is using Write Your Life Story in Eight Weeks Workbook, Second Edition to have conversation/interviews with her grandmother about her life and times. The friend is then documenting the stories in writing. You can do the same for family, friend, or yourself. Go to www.angelinyourinkwell.com/buy.html to order. It's fun. It's easy. It's life affirming.

All rights reserved 2012 There's An Angel In Your Inkwell®

Take It Off, But Don't Take It All Off

WRITING TIP

You have been working on your story or book for weeks, months, or years now. The question arises: How do I know when I am finished?

Here is a checklist against which to test the piece of writing:
1. Does the story/action happen on the page? Do your characters do something or just sit and think?
2. Check for abstract words such as wonderful, incredible, unbelieveable, beautiful, or fantastic. Re-write and give the reader something to actually see. A black funnel cloud ripping up trees, thirty-foot high waves, curves that would make Marilyn Monroe look like a fourth-grade Girl Scout.
3. What senses are involved? Smell is a superhighway to the emotions -- use it. Burnt toast? Pumpkin pie? What about the sense of touch? Rough as a cat's tongue? Soft as grandma's shoulder?
4. Forget what you know. Is the story on the page or just in your mind or memory? Have you included setting, scene, characters, and dialogue?
4. What's the point? As a test, state what the story is about in one sentence. If you can't do it, the piece might need focus.
5. Give it the line test. Read every sentence to see if it adds something meaningful to the piece. If it doesn't, get rid of it.
6. Read it aloud to yourself or ask someone else to read it aloud to you. Or, you could record your story and play it back. If you feel yourself bored or confused, you know where the piece needs work.

Now let's play Pretend. Pretend my story is an outfit.

I could tell you about an outfit I put together: It was all black. I know what the outfit is like; I can see it in my mind, but that doesn't help you. You may be envisioning a lace Victorian dress or maybe it a witch's dress or maybe a funeral suit. Or I could actually show you the outfit.

Now you know -- long sleeve tee shirt, black slacks.

It begins quite plain, no embellishment. Then, to my outfit/story, I add all the stuff mentioned in the first three questions above. Here's how my outfit looks now.

Now I apply the last two questions: What's the point and does every detail add something  meaningful?

Is this a summer or winter outfit? I have a straw hat and snow boots. Which do I want it to be? Do I need two details around my waist? Which do I want? Tailored belt or lacy scarf? What about that big handbag? It is cotton with sequins. Does that work with the snow boots? Does the outfit need that necklace? My outfit will also include Chanel cologne, Oil of Olay face cream, and Avon hand cream. Does all that make your nose twitch?

Just as putting together an outfit is a judgment call, so is writing. We want to leave room for personal style, but we want to avoid the bizarre and confusing.  Put on details. Take them off. When you have achieved the perfect balance, step out and see what the world says.

WRITING PROMPT - LAUNCHING PAD

Too much. I once showed up at a college dance wearing a bright royal blue wool dress with wide blue satin belt and dyed-to-match blue satin heels. All the sorority girls were there in their matching blazers, straight skirts, and penny loafers. No, my date never asked me out again. That little story has a lot of "too much" in it, doesn't it? Too much outfit. Too much embarrassment. What is your story of too much? I once ate too much cheesecake, but if I told you about it, you would say, uh, too much information. Have you ever told too much, spent too much, loved too much, or suffered too much injustice? Write about it. Then re-write it -- until it is ready for going out in public.

CHOCOLATE INKWELL - Today's recipe is from http://www.nancyskitchen.com/.  Enjoy!

German Chocolate Pie


1 c. sugar
2 tbsp. flour
1 tbsp. cornstarch
Pinch of salt
2 tbsp. cocoa

Mix well.


2 slightly beaten eggs
3 tbsp. melted butter
2/3 c. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 c. coconut
1/3 c. pecans


Pour into a 9 inch crust and bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.

The instructions aren't very specific, but I'm guessing you mix the wet ingredients and add them to the combined dry ingredients and then add the coconut and pecans. Or would you add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients? There's some rule of thumb about that, but I also do not remember that. However, I do remember that this recipe is chocolate and easy.


You still have time to order the Write Your Life Story in Eight Weeks Workbook, Second Edition. It's a great Christmas gift or project for the new year. Find it at www.angelinyourinkwell.com/buy.html/

A fashion photographer, I am not; but I took the photos.


All rights reserved 2011 There's An Angel In Your Inkwell®

Stir It Up Today

WRITING TIP

A couple of hours after last week's post (the one with the recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies), I got a phone call from my friend, Justine. "Come on by. I have pumpkin chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven."

"Today's recipe cookies? How did you do that so fast?"

She said she had all the ingredients on hand so she made them. A double batch, in fact. Thank goodness she lives nearby. I was there in a flash.

I was so impressed with Justine's ability to stir up a batch of cookies without all the "someday-ing" I indulge in, I thought it would be a great blog post. I would take a picture of a plate of the cookies she sent home with me and write about how important it is to avoid procrastination I would say, When you have a good idea, write it down. When you see a good market for your writing, send your writing out. When you remember something from your life, write about it immediately.

That was what I was going to do -- someday -- when I got around to another blog post.

And then one day, I entered the kitchen and there was Gentleman Friend with the last portion of the last cookie raised to his mouth.

"Waaaiiiit!" I wailed. "I wanted to take a picture of the cookies."

The poor guy looked downright guilty as he gently laid the cookie remains back on the plate. I snapped one quick picture and returned the morsel to him. I might mention he was not so guilt-ridden he was unable to gobble down the last bit.

That's what happens. Fail to write down an idea, a story, send a submission, and it disappears before you know it. I'm going to try to follow Justine's good example and stir up my ideas today and not dream about doing it "someday."

PS - I heard from Ronnie that she, too, made the cookies that day.


WRITING PROMPT LAUNCHING PAD

Red-handed. Have you ever been like Gentleman Friend? Caught red-handed? Actually, he was doing nothing wrong, but sometimes we all do. Maybe you were red-faced instead of red-handed. Maybe you saw a cardinal one day -- they're red. Maybe you were sunburned. It's okay to go far afield with the Launching Pad. Write whatever comes to mind. Later, shape and polish it into a story or essay.

CHOCOLATE INKWELL The inspiration for today's recipe came from Allrecipes.com; however, I didn't follow the recipe exactly. If you look on Allrecipes.com, the original recipe is called Israeli Stuffed Dates. It calls for Medjool dates, bittersweet chocolate, pecans, and sweetened, shredded coconut. My version is below.

Chocolate-Dipped Dates Stuffed with Nuts

Dark chocolate chips - because I like dark chocolate. You could use milk chocolate or whatever.
A package of whatever kind of dates the grocery store has
Walnuts - because that's what I had on hand
Sweetened, shredded coconut. Optional

Melt small batches of the chocolate chips. While it melts, keep one eye on it and one eye on the dates as you stuff them with nuts. You can sort of shape and form the dates around the nuts. Dip one end of the stuffed date in the melted chocolate. Place on wax paper. Sprinkle with coconut. I served these in little candy cups to help them stay upright. Dates and dark chocolate are a good source of all sorts of healthful stuff. 

Writing your life story is good for your health, too. Get started with Write Your Life Story in Eight Weeks Workbook, Second Edition, available at www.angelinyourinkwell.com/buy.html.

All rights reserved 2011 There's An Angel In Your Inkwell®